I wouldn’t have traded it
for money
or a day at the spa
five hours
in a row
in daylight
in my house
in silence
not puttering
or cleaning up
not even reading
a novel
but the glorious
adultness
of thinking
about big things
that need a steady gaze
about important things
that need a tunnel
dug out
to reach them
not my marriage
or my kids
or a new plan
to exercise
just the marvelous
puzzle of my work
all mapped out
on big pieces
of paper
that felt to me
like art
and when she woke up
from her nap
I wasn’t done
but my mind
was tired
in a good way
like a dog
that had finally
been let out
to run
I couldn’t have guessed
before kids
how good that would feel
and I’m always happy to see her
but I swear
this time
there was more
of me there.