There is a rocket ship
made of toilet paper rolls
on our mantelpiece
and crayons lined up
like soldiers
that I’m forbidden to move
inside my favourite shoes
there are raisins
in my wallet
and you used my lipgloss
this morning as glue
our car is a compost
and I haven’t slept
through the night
in years
but I am not thinking about this
over coffee with a friend
I haven’t seen since before
you colonized
my life
I am remembering how casual
time was back then
how easy it was
to waste an hour
how rich I was
in minutes
and then suddenly
as if an alarm went off
I realize I should wrap up
our chat
but he does it first
a quick hug
and then we head back
to conducting the orchestras
of our busy lives
I get home
and you both
climb onto my lap
you show me
a paper scribbled in blue
and you say
with a happy confidence
I drew you
five cats, mama
and your brother
who is sick
tries to make me laugh
because we decided
last month
that laughing
was a family value
Jabba the Hutt’s
daughter-in-law
is Fatty the Hutt
which really does
make me laugh
and I haven’t even taken
off my coat
when I realize
with a knot of gratitude
that my heart
will never
be tidy
again.