The perils of keeping a journal

I deliberate for a long minute
about what to write
on the helpless face
of my new journal
wanting to be unrestrained
raw and fast
but I can’t stop thinking about her
wanting to impress her
a young woman I have never met
I am long dead
she is a great-grandchild
a fan perhaps
she knows only the borders of me
frozen in ink
yet she declares
in that confident voice of the living
the most curious version
of who I was.