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2013-03-16T15:52:31-04:00March 16th, 2013|Nature|

The day I decided to think about my life

My husband and my son are out
and I got that work done
that had been picking
at the edge of my mind

so I sit with a cup of tea
on the couch
and decide to think
about my life

not the bits and parts
but the wholeness of it
a sweeping assessment
as I do when I look quickly at the tree
outside our window
at the grand celebration of its posture
not its mossy feet
or the bugs that tightrope walk
on the stems of its leaves

I am giddy with solitude
and the soft thrill of my assignment
and yet I find I cannot come
unstuck from the tree

a long time passes
my breath is leashed
to the steadiness of it
I hardly notice my sadness at first
until my nose burns
and my eyes fill up
like a tilting ship

I don’t drink my tea
preferring to warm my hands
on the mug

and all I can think
is how heartbreaking that tree is
the way it stands there
year after year
asking for nothing
scrubbing our air
watching us all
with our heads down
pressing through the seasons
unable to find stillness
in our short stay.

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