When we argue

We don’t argue often
but when we do
I retreat right away,
claiming victory
in silence,
backing away
from the tension
like I would from an animal
or an accident
on the side of the road,
wanting to pause the scene,
to find the right words
or just to leave
but then I leak
a little anger
which he always says later
is better than a wall
and though I am tempted
to do something dramatic
like smash a plate
I know that marriage
is made up of these moments
and I want mine to be
on the better side
so I force myself
like jumping in a cold sea
to throw off the delicious
feeling of being right
and point my toe at the ground instead,
a tiny move
a signal
that only we know
plants the seed
again.