It’s the same every time
I wake up
in my clothes
disoriented
like I’ve been drugged
and left in this small bed
I lay in the dark for a while
feeling hungover
trying to remember
what I have due tomorrow
what window of work I have wasted
I walk to the bathroom
like an old person
I brush my teeth slowly
stopping to yawn
I pass my husband in the hallway
I put my hand up
and I shake my head
the moment is silent
but he knows what it means
I lost
I remember the part
when I was hanging on
but the undertow of fatigue
got me again
I lie down in my own bed
curled up
like an abandoned thing
I fall back asleep
and dream I am flying
free and high and light.