You warned us
I’m not going to share with baby Owen
but it was worse than that
as you hoarded your toys
using all parts of your body
to cover them up
so that nobody could play with them
not even you
all the while little Owen smiled
and tried to give you what he could
one of his carrots
lint from our carpet
his mother’s purse
the more you grabbed from him
the madder I got
so that when I finally lay down with you in your bed
right after you asked me for our special cuddle
I said in a cement voice
I am disappointed in you
then you fell asleep
holding my hand
and I could have drowned
in my sudden and ferocious regret
the next morning
I had planned my apology
how I would pack you tight again with love
you came to show me
how you’d used too much toothpaste
are you disappointed in me
you asked me with excitement
and I realized this is how love works
there are no scars to heal
only the flaws in me
that you cannot yet see.