I lay like a mound of earth
an inanimate lump
except for the shivering
a bad cold
maybe the flu
my husband is out
and I think about making my son dinner
but I don’t move
he doesn’t seem worried at all
he runs a wooden moose over my limbs
back and forth
making car sounds
nudging me every few minutes
looking for my eyelids to open
this is all he needs
a parent who is alive
bonus for unusual terrain
when I finally decide he must eat
he feeds himself
while I huddle beside him
speaking in platitudes
trying to stay on top
of something
and when he is done
he points to a cloth
and wipes his face and hands clean
on his own
the first time ever
I think about all the qualities we hope for him
smart
funny
passionate about life
and then I think
what a gorgeous thing it is
to be kind.