2011-02-02T20:54:33-08:00February 2nd, 2011|Musings on life|

The death I want

I already had the death
I want.

The plane felt like a seal
in the jaws of a whale.
The pilot tried to land
three times.

Unlike a doctor who vows
to do no harm,
all a pilot can promise
is to harm as little
as possible.
So he flew us away from the terminal
and the skyscrapers
and the bridges
over to the wheat fields
where the mice knew the signs
and ran for cover.

But I didn’t
Or hide
or claw my chair.
I didn’t chase my last breaths down with
screams of

I closed my eyes
and thought about how my life has been
sewn tight
with love.

Thank you thank you
I whispered.

When we landed
the pilot apologized
a pale and tinny voice
but I wanted to find him
and kiss him
and whisper in his ear

thank you thank you.

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