I have a meeting with a graphic designer
who I also consider a friend
but still
I text her to say I’m running late
and she should come right in
and then it occurs to me
that she might hear the hum
of my breast pump
from downstairs
so I text her to tell her
what I’m up to
I add a lot of exclamation marks
to make it seem funny
or at least less awkward
but when I read it over
it appears as frenetic
as I feel
then the baby wakes up early
so we try to make her happy
by letting her chew
the graphic designer’s pen
while we try to unpack a conversation
out of a knot
of interruptions
I make her a cup of tea
which she can’t drink
because the baby
is in a lunging phase
but I use words like
priority
and we stuff budgets
into the quiet
between the crying
so I feel it’s gone well
overall
and I’m silently pleased that I remembered
the meeting at all
and then she says
in the kindest voice
I think you have a black bean
on your collarbone
and of course I do
which I pick off
and only later
do I wonder what she thought
when I ate it.