I’m up with her all night
she doesn’t cry
as long as my eyes are open
like some deranged game
and each time I vow I will win
sleep through her cries
I cannot bear it
and I realize she has recruited
my own heart against me
I beg her
and when she stares back at me
I beg God
though none of it will help
for I know I am being punished
having insulted fate
and the lineage of mothers
by saying
just the other day
oh she’s a great little sleeper
and so when her brother climbed in
as the day began to dust
the night with chalk
I convinced their dad to take her
and didn’t feel guilty at all
as my son lay next to me
when I lied
about being part bear
or when I said nothing
when he asked me
if I got woken up
might I bite.