We walk back to the cabin
my husband carries him
our bodies smell of ocean
our pace is slow
we don’t have to confer
we both know
we are trying
to hypnotize him
trying to coax
the sweet release
of sleep
he asks if it’s sleep time
we say yes
he asks if I am going to sleep
we say yes
he asks if I am asleep now
we say yes
and for the rest of the walk
he yawns and alternates
resting his head
on my husband’s shoulder
with craning his neck
to confirm that I am
indeed
asleep
which I am determined to simulate
for fear of reversing his languor
so I stumble
eyes closed to slits
pregnant and half-blind
down the forest path
wondering yet again
how many more contortions
I will enlist
in this odd drama
of motherhood.