When my husband is away
and my baby is asleep
the little robot inside me
that just takes care of things
sputters and crumples
and lays on its side
unresponsive.
I thought that with the extra time
I would pamper myself
a long bath
paint my toes
read that novel everyone says is so good
but instead I allow a flat daze
to envelop me
I eat handfuls of cereal
I watch youtube
I stay up late
for no reason
it is strangely peaceful
this quiet place of no harm
but no hint
of nurture.