A baby robin clutches
the side of his nest
but thinks better
of leaping.
His mother berates him,
a constant squawk
from her stage on the big cedar bough.
I peek in
and see he has fallen
asleep, impervious to her call
for obedience.
Three days in a row of this
spectacle of nerves
and the next day
she didn’t return.
At dusk,
that grey mute hour,
he climbed onto the ledge
of his woven brambled home
and flew,
silent and perfect,
into the cedar tree.
She will come back for him,
I thought.
The next morning I was getting firewood
from under the house
and there he lay
as though he was sleeping again,
silent and perfect,
but horribly
still,
his glossy black eyes
wet with fear.
I felt angry at his mother
for not understanding
he just needed more time
than his brothers,
for not coming back
though he must have waited all night
on the cedar bough
where her last words to him
were of disappointment.
And I felt angry
at the beast
who startled him,
bullied him to the ground
and didn’t even take a bite
to make it feel orderly,
to assure us that nature isn’t senseless,
that only we push the weaker ones
for fun.
But mostly I was angry
at myself.
I was the one who saw him fly
for the first time
and I didn’t clap
or say a word.
He never knew
how proud
I was.