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2021-12-23T14:17:56-08:00September 25th, 2014|Creativity|

My six-year-old poetry teacher

My brain is jammed
with the noise of errands
and the poem knows it,

waiting
in the quiet prison
of my ribcage
looking
for a way out.

Meanwhile,
the noticing
pours out of you
blunt and new,

like the colour of the girl’s hair
in your drawing
that is not brown or blonde,
you tell me,
it is like a paper bag,
which of course it is.

How you describe
grandpa’s face
as mushy,
and that a frog
would feel like a bird
if you held it tight
in your hand.

How nuns
look like black and white versions
of Red Riding Hood,
and how library books
smell like closets.

So I keep asking
and the answers drop out of you
obvious as stones,
each one a lesson
in what it takes
to be a poet.

2013-12-10T16:31:19-08:00December 10th, 2013|Parenthood|

The art of feeding a three-year-old

I knew I’d have to feed you
but I didn’t know
I’d have to audition for the part

I draw attention in crowds
the way I pretend I am your pit crew
and the ravioli is fuel
that I stuff in your mouth
and yell go go go
each time you pass me

or the way I hand you cashews
as I drive
asking if you remember
how to look like a walrus

cut up apples are two-way radios
porridge is a spy mission for raisins
and the broccoli miss each other
when one is having a party in your belly
and the others are not

but my most dramatic deceit
is when I look as scared as you
and whisper that Annapurna
goddess of food
is rumbling like thunder
when you won’t eat

I remember reading
that she’s actually a really nice goddess
who is concerned with starving people
not picky ones
so I always feel guilty
making her out to be so fierce
not for tricking you
but for casting someone
who didn’t try out
for this play.

2013-04-09T20:33:49-07:00April 9th, 2013|Parenthood|

The injustice of not being allowed on the roof

Today you welded your being
into a molten rod of anguish
unable to accept
you were not allowed
to follow your dad
up the ladder to the roof

which quickly extended
to your refusal to accept anything
such as water
or that your Auntie Charley’s name
begins with “c”

but like any storm
the clouds move on
and your mood is just a story
you tell me on our way
to feed the ducks

you tell the part about the boots
the mud and the carpet
and you ask me to tell the part
about how I wiped your nose
on your shirt and told you
the neighbour’s cat
was on your side

then when we’re all out of bread
and the ducks have flown
to the other side of the lake
I suggest we go to Bandida’s for a bite

you ask me
where is Bandida’s, mama

I tell you it’s on Commercial Drive
and you look up at me
like a benevolent old monk
who has never raised his voice
and you say

Commercial Drive
that sounds nice.

2013-04-06T16:50:50-07:00April 6th, 2013|Musings on life|

Nine days old

I hold my friend’s new baby
who sleeps right through
freeze-dancing and piñatas
at his sister’s birthday party

all the five-year-olds
run around like race cars
they do not look twice
at this wisp of a boy

his skin is like an eyelid
I can see everything moving
underneath the gauziness of him

his heart bounces
his veins shuffle blood
back and forth

he smiles in his sleep
his wrinkled fist
punches absent-mindedly
at the sky

the kids stampede past us again
on their way upstairs
for the Easter Egg hunt

I cover his little ears
but he hasn’t paid attention
to any of it

I realize that nothing can compare
to what he has just come through
all the milk and the air
and the bright thrust of life

perhaps we too
would let the elephants
run past us
if God herself
had just walked in
and answered it all.

2013-02-17T20:45:17-08:00February 17th, 2013|Parenthood|

Unexpected moment of kinship with the spring-loaded hamster in the playground

Your smile says it all
the chipped grit
of trying your darndest
to be as happy
as you were painted to look
while kids shove each other
off you for one more turn
riding you
like you are some bronco
not a furry rodent
for god’s sake
and all this rain
don’t they know
hamsters are from the desert
one bath can kill you
anyways
we’re clearly both cold
and stoically hoping
the sun will hurry down
so we can get some rest
before sliding inside
our smiles again
tomorrow.

2012-11-15T00:00:47-08:00November 15th, 2012|Parenthood|

A dog named Penis

It’s as though you’ve been saving up
listening to language
like a hoarder

stuffing words in the folds of your brain
and under your tongue

laying on them
like eggs
and now you unspool them as fast as you can
as though speaking is an emergency
as though you need to make room
for breath

you hang words in the air
like sparkly things
that you insist I admire

I want a brown dog named Penis

it’s the clearest sentence you’ve ever said
and you look at me
proud and surprised
as if you’d caught that brown dog
falling from the sky

I try not to laugh
while I put your shoes on
as we talk about all the places
you and Penis will go.

2012-10-01T09:31:36-07:00October 1st, 2012|Musings on life|

The sensibleness of big dreams

There is nothing daring
about having a dream

your future is as familiar
as an old friend
the one you adore
who lives on the other side
of the world

call her every day
tell her everything

be lavish
with details

when she shows up
pull her close
into your life

she is the lead role
the book deal
the baby

it is only sensible
to dream

she has been there
right beside you
all along.

2012-05-23T00:33:45-07:00May 23rd, 2012|Creativity|

Creative amnesia

I found an old notebook today
my handwriting to be sure
but I can hardly remember the girl
who wrote them

the beginnings of stories
like a fleet of broken-down cars
packed for a road trip
enthusiasm laid so bare
so bright amidst the rubble

I plotted one out to the end
and left it like that
bones with no flesh

I try to re-enter the idea
but it is like licking the menu
like trying to know a life
by the talking points
for a speech
at a funeral

it’s like this with old boyfriends too
I wanted to dig my heart out
with missing
and now I can barely remember
what we talked about
were they funny
did they have
middle names.

2011-12-17T22:42:06-08:00December 17th, 2011|Musings on life|

The questionable plot device of the common cold

My tongue is a woolen mitt
the ones you see abandoned
on the wet street
run over and over
by buses.

My head is a soggy cave
my only ambition
to find the nomadic cool patch
on the bedsheets.

Having a cold
makes me question
whether there is a God

not because it’s merciless
quite the opposite

if God is the playwright
why conjure up such an undramatic bug
that does little
but render
your cast
mundane.

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/35280496″ iframe=”true” /]

2022-05-10T16:30:40-07:00November 24th, 2011|Creativity, Musings on life|

The memory holder

There is the me
who is occupied
being the animal of me.

And the me who observes me
with the loose curiosity
of watching a girl in a cafe.

And then the breathless captive me,
the memory holder,
repainting the picture of my life,
revising the ending of my story,
constant biographer
so many subplots
such scattered detail.

Tonight I watched a film,
ostensibly for entertainment
but I realized later
it was charity,
giving all of the me’s
the night off.

For a few hours,
we must have relished
that pause on the momentum
of these bones,
the relief
of submerging into a story
that is wondrously
not our own.

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