The fall

Every time I jump
twenty feet down
from the railing
into the ocean
I tell myself
to notice the part
when I am falling
through the sky
like a stone
but I can only ever remember
from the moment
I am suddenly motionless
in the cold sea,
no longer rushing down
into that quiet world
but not light enough yet
to be returned up
gasping
to the warm
unbothered air.