He smelled like
old tupperware
a waxy film coated his skin
he kept the television on
all day
all night.
I knew him before
this dank apartment
this lethargy.
I knew him when he winked
devoured novels
showed off tricks to the kids
with a soccer ball
on sunny days.
Then a despondency
arrived
and ate away at the parts of him
that shone
until all that was left
was grey.
When you close your eyes
I asked him
what does it look like
inside your head?
He said
it’s funny
because
it’s not in my head
it’s a thousand pounds of rock
strapped to my back
and everyone keeps smiling
and encouraging me to
jump
jump.