January 16, 2013

This daily trip to the edge



I can’t help it
the triggers are everywhere

an ambulance moaning by
a missed phone call
a sock of his
slumped over a chair

first I picture how it would happen
the details ambush my mind
painting it all
before I can stop it
on the inside
of my eyes

and then I imagine the after
the chewed up hull
of my being

the service
and the things I would try
to say

the hate I would aim
at the things
that still exist
like his quiet chair
his chipped mug

I park the car
and I can see him inside
talking on the phone
pacing and eating whatever
he can spoon from the fridge

there has been no fire
no heart attack

just a phone call
he couldn’t get off
perhaps his agent
or his dad

there is no cure
for this daily trip
to the edge

only my hand
on his warm
perfect face.

6 comments / Add Yours

Correction: not yo , but To

Reply

Yo love deeply is to suffer deeply–even if the scenarios are merely fiction. The worst tragedy would be to forget to laugh at our mind’s antics.

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I have to say, the comment above me is just as sweet as this poem. You two are adorable.
It is scary to think of the worst that can happen. It’s been to live in the love.

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First of all, I love you more than anything, and thus will never leave, and in fact never really leave, because I’m always thinking about you and that little Eggy, meaning you’re a a part of me. Obviously. Second, spoon anything? I’d never spoon ketchup, for instance—although it’s spoonable. I’m a pecan butter-raspberry jam man, as a rule. So that’s two things that must be forever banished from the worry pile. Three, I love you more than anything. And four, I love you more than anything, And five, see one three and four, and also two because I’m feeling peckish. I love you.

Thadeus Crumplebum III
at your service

Reply

your words describe so beautifull what happens so often to me as well. thank you so very much. I do hope you can have days in which you don’t take this trip xo

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Thank you for capturing this daily journey and wrestling it to paper. So beautiful, each word so perfect.

I have reconciled myself to this daily journey my mind insists upon with the understanding that this is perhaps the price of sharing in so deep a love. A small price, indeed, for such a blessing.

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